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托福独立写作让步段的高分写法

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写好让步段在托福独立写作中可以为我们加分,那么你知道托福独立写作让步段的高分写法吗?一起来看看吧!  

托福独立写作让步段的高分写法  

让步段1

Students can use their mobile phones to surf on the Internet or listen to the music while doing their homework.

Admittedly, some students claim that listening to music or surfing online can reduce the anxiety and tension while doing homework, but what you may not know is that people’s sub-consciousness is actually distracted, which not only slows down the progress of the work but also burdens their nerves. Hence, the real way to relax your mind is to kick off your shoes, sit back and listen to light or classical music after having finished the entire task rather than during the process.

本题其实是一个典型的一元素的题目,这个元素就是能否看手机,我们可以把这个元素看成 a, 文章结构就是先说 a 的两个坏处,a1- a2-, 然后在让步的时候说 a+,但是由于题目的立场是反对,所有让步可以以 a+ 开始,但是最后以 a- 结束,否则就会对自己的立场有一定的削弱。

让步段1的示范

It is important for the government to allocate money on beautiful things, not just for things that are practical. [2014年5月24日]

Admittedly, some people claim that spending money on beautiful things can satisfy people’s higher level needs, but what you may not know is that the satisfaction of residents’ most basic needs might be compromised, which not only takes a heavy toll on their living conditions but also poses a major threat to the government with tight budget. Hence, there is no better way for a country to achieve successful development than to devote its budgets to practical needs.

本题是一个两元素比较类的题目,元素 a 是美丽的东西,元素 b 是实际的东西,而立场是支持 b>a,所以让步的时候我们就写 a+ a- b+ 从说 a 的好处过渡到 b 好。这里面有几个表达希望大家注意一下。主语从句结合not only but also 的结构:what you may not know is that..., which not only ... but also ....。以及 there is no better way for sb to do sth than to do sth 。还有 a take a heavy toll on b and a pose a major threat to b。

让步段2

Students can benefit from student organization and club activities as much as from their academic studies.

Admittedly, academic study is of vital importance to every student, for it provides the basic and systematic knowledge to which we cannot be blind. However, to emphasize the importance of academic study does not mean that student organizations and club activities are dispensable. One who devotes himself to academic study without paying any attention to extra-curricular activities stands a fair chance to become a nerd with high IQ but low EQ, which is not an ideal case.

本题是一个经典的 a=b 的题目,立场是支持 a>b 然后文章结构依然是 a1+ a2+ b+ 两个理由一个让步的形式。让步的时候 b+ b- a+ 的套路。这里面有些表达很不错,比如:a is of vital importance to b, be blind to sth, to emphasize the importance of a does not mean that b is dispensable, stand a fair chance to do sth。这些表达希望大家重点记一下,然后融入到自己的让步段的模板里面。几个让步稍微融合一下就可以避免跟别人撞车了。

让步段2的示范

Visiting a museum is the best way to learn about a country.

Admittedly, paying a visit to a museum is of vital importance to learning about a country, for it provides the basic and systematic knowledge related to the country’s history to which we cannot be blind. However, to emphasize the importance of museums does not mean that other ways of getting to a country are of lesser importance. One who devotes himself to visiting museums without paying any attention to other ways stands a fair chance to lose sight of a country’s present magnificence, which is not an ideal case.

本题是一个多元素的题目,翻译过来就是 a>b a>c a>d ... a>n, 我们的立场是不同意,所以最好找两个不等式来证明他们是不成立的,比如:b>a c>a。我们可以写上网这个方式很好啊,另外交友也是一个不错的方式啊。让步承认博物馆有好处,可以让我们了解一个国家的历史,但是如果认为其他方式不如它重要的话很可能不能够了解国家现在的成就,这就不好了。这里面又出现了两个新的短语,lose sight of = be blind to 还有 be of lesser importance 跟 be of vital importance 正好相反。

让步段3

Do you agree or disagree: governments should spend more money in sponsoring arts than in athletics.

Admittedly, the significance of arts cannot be overlooked; building up an artistic atmosphere is conducive to refining people’s artistic taste. If a society is artistically cultivated, hardly would its people’s souls be corrupted by materialism. However, compared with arts, athletics is more fundamental, i.e., without good health, people will not be able to make any great achievements including those in the area of arts. Thus, the vital importance of athletics is self-evident.

本题是一个两元素的题目,两个元素分别是艺术和体育,a>b。而本题的立场是支持 b>a。所以文章的结构是 b1+ b2+ a+。让步的时候依然是 a+ b+ 的结构。这里面涉及到的比较不错的表达有:the significance of a cannot be overlooked, be conducive to, the vital importance of b is self-evident, 以及倒装句 hardly would its people's souls be corrupted by materialism。

让步段3的示范

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who have learned many different skills are more likely to succeed than those who focus on learning only one skill. [2014年2月22日]

Admittedly, the significance of being versatile cannot be overlooked since it is conducive to increasing one’s competitive advantage in the workplace. If an individual has multiple skills, hardly would he or she be outstripped by others. However, compared with learning a variety of skills, zeroing in on one skill is more fundamental without which people will not be able to make any great achievements. Thus, the vital importance of concentrating on one skill is self-evident.

本题也是一个两元素的题目,我们只要将模板中的相应位置进行合理的替换即可。替换的时候尽量用一些同义词或者短语来避免重复。本段中也有几个不错的表达,比如:increase one's competitive advantage 以及 be outstripped by = be eclipsed by 还有 zero in on = focus on等等。希望大家注意总结哈。

托福独立写作以退为进的“让步段”写法

俗话说“知己知彼,百战不殆”,想写出漂亮的“让步段”,你必须去了解“让步段”的由来和写法。今天,就让蔡润光老师带你学习“让步段”!

对于一篇独立写作,主体段充分展开与否非常重要。在主体段段落安排时,除了写支持段(supporting paragraphs)也可以使用让步段(concession)。考生不禁会问:究竟何为让步段?为何要写让步段?具体如何写让步段?笔者蔡蔡将会一一解答。

究竟何为让步段?

让步段内容会写到支持面的弊端或对立面的优点,貌似与立场相悖,南辕北辙;实则,让步段并不是“搬石头砸自己的脚”,而是为了“退一小步,近一大步”以退为进地加强文章立场。

为何要写让步段?

实则是为了:内容上更加充实,逻辑上更加严密,思路上更加切题。

首先,段落展开内容上不仅可以说支持面的好处,也可以写自身有何缺点,或反方有何可取之处。这样一来,文章可写内容变多,更加充实。其次,在逻辑上也包含了辩证思考,正反分析。最后,对于题干中反面不可被忽略的题目,如二选一的利弊类题目,若没有通过段内对比的方式包含对立面,文章并未全面覆盖题干信息,充分切题,但用让步段可以将两者兼顾。

具体如何写让步段?

01

欲扬先抑(跟支持面让步)

欲扬先抑是指先承认支持面不足,稍加解释不足之后,转折提出整体利大于弊,或不足之处可被避免。

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Technology has more positive effects than negative ones.

以本题为例,题目问科技是否利大于弊。因为题目中包含了利弊两个方面,不建议只写利处或弊端,可以通过让步段兼顾题目立场的弊端。本题若选择支持立场,可以先通过两个主体段充分支持科技的好处,如1.科技促进了人们之间的信息交流。2.科技给社会带来诸多便利,省力省时。让步段便可采用欲扬先抑,即承认科技有弊端,如占用过多的时间,面临个人信息被盗的风险,但是较之于整体获得的便利,这些弊端可以忽略不计。事实上,只要合理规划时间,上网时注意个人信息的保护,这些弊端也可以避免。

该类让步思路梳理清楚后,蔡蔡给大家补充一些常用表达。

承认自身不足

Admittedly / Undoubtedly / There is no denying that / It cannot be denied that/It is true that(诚然,不可否认的是)支持面, to some extent(一定程度上), may/possibly/probably(或许) have one or two/a couple of/minor drawbacks/defects/demerits/shortcomings(不足)

稍加解释不足:

For instance/for example/to illustrate,...

但整体利大于弊:

However/nevertheless/nonetheless/as a matter of fact然而

Its overall merits/benefits/advantages(整体好处) far outweigh/outnumber/overshadow(远大于)its demerits/defects/disadvantages(其弊端)

但弊端可以规避:

As a matter of fact/In fact, as long as 解决方案, the so-called negative effects/consequences can be avoided.

However, the problem can be solved by …

Actually, the negative influence can be eliminated by …

02

先礼后兵(跟对立面让步)

先礼后兵是指承认对立面好,稍加解释后转折让步:没支持面好或者有潜在弊端

Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork.

以本题为例,父母应该利用难得的亲子时光陪孩子做游戏或运动,还是陪孩子做作业。若立场为支持父母陪孩子做游戏或运动,可以有两点支持:1.陪孩子做运动有助于孩子放松身心压力2.陪孩子游戏或运动时可以促进亲子交流。让步段可以和对立面让步,即承认陪孩子做作业有一定好处,比如有利于孩子巩固所学,提高学习成绩,但过多注重学习而忽略课外活动会物极必反,孩子有可能变成没有实用技能的书呆子。

同样,简要梳理思路后,蔡蔡补充一些相关表达供大家参考。

承认对立面好

Admittedly/Granted, 对立面have some merits which deserve some words here./I am not denying the significance of 对立面

稍加解释对立面优点

For instance/for example/to illustrate,...

但没支持面好

However, compared with/in comparison with 支持面, it pales into significance.

However, its benefits are dwarfed by that of 支持面

但有潜在弊端

However, its seemingly beneficial aspects may turn out to be defective, even destructive.

However, overemphasis on 对立面 may result in some undesirable consequences.

托福写作展开段落编不下去怎么办

在雅思写作中编例子这个活儿稍微编不好就跑题还不讨考官的喜,换种方式考官还是不满意,那么同学在TOEFL写作的时候为了展开段落编例子编不下去怎么办呢?

那就不编了,我们换种方式。请follow我的脚步,我们一起来看看

首先,请各位记住一个公式:a+= b+/ b-/a+

“老师,这不是数学么?啥意思啊” let me explain

若段内展开时你想说a好,那么你可以先写a的对立面b不错,但是并不用展开讨论,这时候马上说b的不好,论证结束时说显然,还是a最好。 通过“对比说理”来完成你的文章。好,下面我们来举个例子说明。

First, allowing children to make decisionson their own can strengthen the bonds. Sure, restricting children’s behaviorcan work like a charm to some extent, but if parents overstep, chances are thekid would end up frustrated and upset. However, things could be totally theopposite if children are allowed to choose their own path and follow their ownheart. A sense of trust will build up, and they are more likely to open up andnext time when problems show up they’d turn to parents for help.

解析:

这个段落当中,不难发现t.s.句:结论前置,允许孩子自己做决策可以加强和父母之间的情感纽带。这其实就是我们的a+,那么下面由sure,引导b+,诚然限制孩子的行为也能起作用(注意请记下语料:work like a charm 起作用),不用展开马上转回,然而这样做父母可能过度干涉孩子的隐私,导致孩子沮丧压抑。说完我们的b-之后 however连接,然而还是a更好,如果孩子可以追求自己的路,追寻自己的内心的话,事情将会适得其反。他们会被信任而且问题出现时,孩子更愿意与父母沟通,敞开心扉。由此,我们可以清晰的看见本文的逻辑思路即:b+/b-/a+。全文并没有通过举例例证来展开文章,而是通过对比说理来展开。好,那么这段写到这里能得到满分么?No,no,no,还没这么简单。本段缺失了大量的细节,比如家长如何overstep?孩子为什么frustrated?孩子追寻怎么选择自己的路怎么追寻了内心呢?为什么她们更愿意敞开心扉呢?这些细节,都没有在全文展开。也就是说,逻辑思维成立,但缺失细节,我们的文章也拿不到高分。

好,那如何展开细节呢?请小伙伴们读读下面的修改版段落(注意:请各位同学读的过程中有意识的把细节用不同的颜色笔画出来~~and 记住好的语言表达!!)

First, allowing children to make decisions on their own can strengthen the bonds.Sure, restricting children’s behavior can work like a charm to some extent, but it is not uncommon to spot generation gap around, where children refuse to share stuff with their parents. To trace back causes, parents are sometimes to blame. When parents prevent children from every activity that they think may cause harm, what message does it send to teenagers? They cannot be trusted and their parents have no faith in them. It is especially true for rebellious adolescents. They want to break free, hoping voices to be heard and actions to be understood. If parents fail to see that and overstep, chances are the kid would end up frustrated and upset. However,things could be totally the opposite if children are allowed to choose their own path and follow their own heart. When children get a say in choosing what kind of college major to pursue or choosing what kind of friends to hang outwith, they will feel that they’d being treated as adults. A sense of trust will build up, and they are more likely to open up and next time when problems show up they’d turn to parents for help.

解析:

红色字体的内容你能看出来是谁的细节么?

Yes, 就是overstep和frustrated的细节! 父母怎么干涉的? 父母限制了所有可能对孩子有害的社交活动,孩子不被信任,父母对他们没有信息。那么孩子呢?需要自由,需要自己的声音被别人听到,行为被别人理解(如果都没有,他们最终崩溃)。满满的都是细节啊!

其次,孩子怎么追寻道路,如何遵从内心呢? 孩子选择了专业和选择了朋友这就是细节啊!so,第二段满满的细节各位,你看懂了么?

托福写作解析:容易出现的5个问题

1、词序问题

尤其是副词的位置。因为有时候修饰词位于句子中的位置不同,会引起句子的含义的变化。所以为了减少误解和不必要的错误,考生在下笔的时候要注意词序问题,句首、句中、句末要仔细斟酌。

2、词汇搭配

很常见的问题,就是考生写的句子,如果一个一个拆开来看单个的单词都没问题,整句句子可能就会产生问题了。举个最简单的例子:The price of the ticket is very cheap. 其实问题说到底还是没有转化语言思维,依然是中文翻英文。中文我们习惯表达票子价格很便宜,而英文里面对应price的是high 和 low,这里就出现了词汇搭配问题。所以考生们平时记忆单词的时候,一定要注意它的用法,看一些例句加深理解。

3、各种不一致

比如性数配合不一致,主谓不一致,时态不一致等等。这里就不多加举例了。

4、指代不清

这是写作中最为常见的问题。归根结底,还是在于考生以中文思路对待英语作文,习惯性地把中文翻译成英文,所以最终出现了指代不清这一常见问题。举个最简单的例子,Many parents have cute girls, and they like to stay with each other.这里的they就是指代不清,究竟是many parents还是cute girls?其实这只是一个很简单的例子,很多时候没有那么明显的指代不清。尤其是当考生喜欢用常常的定语从句的时候,指代不清的现象就更为突出。比如which的指代,究竟是指代前面的一个名词,还是整句句子,考生在这一点上要尤为关注。

5、冗长、累赘

考生有时候觉得使用一些同义替换会给文章增添色彩。诚然这是对的,但是有时候考生过度地使用一些词汇,使得文章看起来比较冗长和累赘。比如:有时候使用As a matter of fact还不如使用Actually来得简洁。考生有时候对于从句依赖程度过多,有时候可以用一个形容词代替的就不要使用定语从句。


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