又幽默又短的英语笑话
对于笑话，可能只是文字游戏，但有时它在人们解决生活中的困惑时起着重要作用，知道英语笑话有哪些吗?下面是小编给大家带来的又幽默又短的英语笑话_有趣的笑话英语小短文，以供大家参考，我们一起来看看吧!
又幽默又短的英语笑话(一)
一切都正常
A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned." "You talked! You talked!" Shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long?" "Well, up till now," Said the boy, "things have been okay."
又幽默又短的英语笑话(二)
老谋深算
There was a 75-year-old multi-millionaire who had just married a beautiful 18-year-old blond girl. So his friends asked him, "How did you manage to get an 18-year-old girl to marry you, when you're 75?"
And the old man replied, "I told her I was 99, so she would marry me quick!"
又幽默又短的英语笑话(三)
吝啬鬼的聚会
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
又幽默又短的英语笑话(四)
导盲犬帮我看
A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store.
The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something." The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."
又幽默又短的英语笑话(五)
林肯过生日
Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.
又幽默又短的英语笑话(六)
三只乌龟
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee。 Just as they got into the cafe， it started to rain。
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one， " Go home and get the umbrella。"
The little turtle replied， "I will， if you don't drink my offee。"
"We won't，" the other two promised。
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle， "Well， I guess he isn't ing back， so we might as well drink his coffee。"
Just then a voice called from outside the door， "If you do， I won't go。"
三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“回家去取伞吧。”[由Www.QunZou.Com整理] 最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。
两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们能够把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”
又幽默又短的英语笑话(七)
孩子的祈祷
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents' house。 At bedtime， the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers， when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs: "I pray for a bicycle。 I pray for a new toy。"
两个小男孩在祖父母家过夜。睡觉的时候，两个小男孩跪在床边开始祈祷，这时小一些的孩子扯开嗓子大声喊道：“我祈求得到一辆自行车。我祈求有一个新玩具。”
His older brother leaned over， nudged him and said， "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf。"
他的哥哥靠过来，用肘轻碰他说：“你为什么这么大声喊叫呢?上帝又不是聋子。”
To which the little brother replied， "No， but Grandma is!"
弟弟回答说：“是的，可是奶奶听不到呀!”
又幽默又短的英语笑话(八)
Intelligent son
One day， the father lets eight year-old son send a letter， the son took the letter ， the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope。
After the son es back， the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"
"Certainly"
"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope。"
"Then why you didn't take it back?"
"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee， is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"
聪明的儿子
有一天，父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信，儿子已经拿着信跑了，父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。
儿子回来后，父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”
“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”
“我还以为你不写地址和收信人，是为了不想让我明白你把信寄给谁呢!”
又幽默又短的英语笑话(九)
特别来宾
a lawyer finds himself at the pearly gates at the same time as the pope.
一位律师发现他和某教宗一起到达天堂的珍珠门。
both men are allowed to enter heaven.
两个人都被允许进入天堂。
and the lawyer is ensconced in a magnificent mansion.
律师被安置在一间豪华的别墅，
but he sees that the pope is housed in a far more humble dwelling.
但他却见到教宗被安排住在非常简陋的住所。
unable to restrain his curiosity,the lawyer asks st.peter about it.
由于好奇心的驱使，律师问圣彼得其中原委。
“well, you see,” replies st. peter, "we have dozens of popes up here, but we-ve never had alawyer before. "
“哦，你看我们这里有好几十位教宗，可是你却是第一个上天堂的律师呢!”圣彼得答道。
又幽默又短的英语笑话(十)
If You Could Choose
If you could choose what kind of world to live in, what kind of world would you choose? If you could decide what would happen tomorrow, with what kinds of things would you fill it?
If you had the power to decide what types of opportunities would come your way, what opportunities would you select? If you knew that your experiences would match your expectations, what would your expectations be?
In fact, you do have the power to choose your own way. You do have the ability to decide what kinds of events, experiences, opportunities and circumstances come your way.
The world you experience is the world that your dreams, your thoughts, your expectations and your actions most closely _. The world you see and live in is the world you most sincerely expect to see.
The universe is filled with endless possibilities, and those possibilities keep growing with every minute. The way you live determines which of those possibilities will come into your life.
With your thoughts, your actions, your values, your dreams and expectations, you choose what kind of world you live in. The way you live is closely mirrored in the world you see.
翻译：如果你可以选择
英语励志短文带翻译:如果你可以选择在什么样的世界里生活,那么你将会选择怎样的世界呢?如果你可以决定明日之事,你将会怎样充实它呢?
倘若你有力量决定自己的机遇,你会怎样选择呢?倘若你知道你的经历会如你所愿,那么你会如何期待呢?
事实上,你有能力选择你要走的'路。是你自己决定你将要做的事、英语短文你将获得的经历、你将得到的机会和你将置身其中的环境。
你体验的这个世界和你的梦想、思维、期待甚至行为产生共鸣。你看到的世界和你时下生活的这个世界就是你真心期待见到的世界。
这个宇宙充满了无限的可能,这些可能每一分钟都在增加。你的生活方式决定了何种可能性会来到你的世界。
你所选择生活的世界取决于你的想法,你的作为,你秉持的价值理念,你的梦想还有对未来的期待。你有什么样的世界观就会有什么样的生活方式。
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