英语小笑话大全
英语小笑话大全
近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。学习啦小编整理了英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!
英语小笑话篇一
守护天使
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice:
有一名男子正走在街上的时候听到一个声音：
"Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step,a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
“停!站住不要动瞅口果你再走一步，就会有一个砖块掉到你的头上砸死你。”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
这名男子停住了，一个大砖块就掉在他的面前。
The man was astonished .
这名男子非常惊讶。
He went on,and after a while he was going to cross the road.
他继续向前走：不久后，他要穿越马路。
Once again the voice shouted;
那个声音再次叫说：
Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step a car will over you and you will die."
“停!站住不要动，如果你再走一步，就会有一辆汽车辗过你，你就会死掉。”
The man did as he was instructed,
这名男子因为曾被指示过，所以就照着做，
just as a car came careening around the corner,barely missing him.
此时正好有一辆汽车左摇右晃地冲过转角处，差一点撞上他。
"Where are you? " the man asked,"Who are you? "
这名男子问说：“你在哪里?你是谁?”
"I am your guardian angle," the voice answered.
这个声音回答说：“我是你的守护天使。…”
"Oh yeah?" the man asked."And where the hell were you when I got married?"
这名男子问说：“喔，是吗?那我结婚的时候：你死到哪里去了?”
英语小笑话篇二
主啊为什么是我
A man was wandering around in a field ,
有名男子在田野里徘徊
thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her,
心里想着他的老婆对他有多么好，他多么幸运拥有她。
He asked God,"Why did you make her so kind hearted?"
他问上帝：“你为什么要把她造得这么心地善良?”
The Lord responded,"So you could love her ,my son."
主响应说：“我儿 呀，这样你就会爱她呀。”
"Why did you make her so good looking?"
“你为什么要把她造得这么貌美呢?”
"So you could love her,my son ."
“我儿呀，这样你就会爱她呀。”
"Why did you make her such a good cook?"
“你为什么要把她造成一个很会做饭菜的人呢?”
"So you could love her,my son."
“我儿呀，这样你就会爱她呀。”
The man thought about this.
这名男子想了一下这件事。
Then he said ," I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything,but,why did you make her sostupid? "
然后他说:“我并不是有意好像我不知好歹，或是什么的,可是，你为什么把她造得这么笨?”
"So she could love you,my son."
“ 我儿呀，这样她就会爱你呀。”
英语小笑话篇三
银行抢劫
Two accountants are in a bank ,
当武装捻匪突然冲进银行的时候。
when armed robbers burst in.
正好有两名会计人员在里面。
While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers,
正当几个抢匪向出纳员取钱的时候，
others line the customers,
其他的抢匪就把顾客们，
including the accountants,
包括这两名会计人员在内，
up against a wall,and proceed to take their wallets,watches,etc.
靠着墙壁排成一线开始夺取他们身上的皮夹子和手表等物品。
While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two's hand.
当这件抢案正在发生的时候，一号会计人员把纂样东西塞迸二号会计火员的手里面。
Without looking down,a
没有向下看，
ccountant two whispers,
二号会计人员就轻声地说：
"What is this ?" to which accountant number one replies,
“这是什么东西呀?”
"It 's that I owe you."
一号会计人员回答说：“那是我欠你的五十元啦。”
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