详解写好托福写作主题句的方法
什么是主题句?所谓主题句(topic sentence, 也有人叫它中心句),就是独立写作主体段中统领全文的那个句子,也就是表述在独立写作头脑风暴和谋篇布局时候想到的“主要理由”或者“论点”的那个句子。通常一篇独立写作有三个主题句。下面小编就带大家详解写好托福写作主题句的方法,大家一起来学习一下吧。
什么是主题句?详解写好托福写作主题句的方法
例如在题目“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is betterto work in large companies than in small ones.”,选择agree,三个主题句可以是:
The first reason is that a large company can provide more opportunities to develop one’s ability
Another reason for choosing a big company involves welfare.
A third reason is that one who appreciates the unique culture of abig enterprise will become a more responsible person to the society.
在托福写作中,三个主题句可以说是作文中最重要的一组句子,因为主题句对段落起到“提纲挈领”的作用,同时对整篇文章的结构清晰度和文章逻辑性也至关重要。
如何将这个理由“完整”“清晰”“出彩”的表达出来就是本文讨论的话题。
首先,每段主题句通常都位于段首,紧跟于“first, second, third”这些“信号词”之后。除此之外还需要注意以下几点。
丨简明扼要
主题句需要让读者看到之后能够快速、准确地把握本段的主要内容。这要求我们在写主题句的时候,一方面内容要简单,另一方面用语要凝练。
先来看一个反面例子:
“First and foremost, television, invented in the last century, withits wide availability and increasingly prosperous programs ,becomes one of the most powerful means of communication in history, and is more and more difficult to ignore”
这个主题句涵盖的内容太多,读完这个句子,读者根本不明白本段是要陈述电视节目蓬勃发展(increasingly prosperous program), 要强调电视是最强力的交流工具(the most powerful means of communication in history),还是要论证电视不可被忽视(difficult to ignore),这就是一个典型的内容太复杂的主题句。
再看一个反例:
“First of all, following the new customs can show a sense of respect,which can allow a better and faster adaption inside the local population so that they make more friends.”
这个句子也有两个论点:表示尊重(show a sense of respect),扩大社交(make more friends),同样也使读者不能抓住本段的主要内容。
如何避免这种错误,使主题句内容简单呢?很简单,首先做到每个主题句有且只有一个论点。论点就是指我们头脑风暴时候想到的那些“key words”,比如健康,安全,情感等等,每段写一个,不要把健康和安全放在同一个段落,也不要把情感和成功放在同一个段落。
例如上面第二个例子,我们只需要删去一个论点,就可以变得非常简洁:
“To start with, accepting cultures in the foreign country is an indispensable element that contributes to the expansion of social circle.”这是一个简洁的主题句,只有扩大社交(contributes to the expansion of social circle)这一个论点。
论点唯一还不一定能完全做到简洁,来看另一个反例:
“The first reason why letting children care for animals isnot the best way to teach them about responsibility is that it could negatively impact a child’s health.”
这句话虽然只有一个论点,可是用语太繁杂,让人头晕。主题句的语法不建议太复杂,建议大家把花式操作留到其他部分去秀,在主题句,只要写一些简单句,例如:“First, raising pets will exert a negative impact on a child’shealth.”就行了。
丨不是陈述事实
来看下面两个句子:
A: “First, some children might be infected by feeding animals.”
B: “First, raising pets could negatively impact a child’s health.”
哪一个是好的主题句呢?
答案是B。
因为A句的内容是一个“纯粹的事实”,而B句则是“抽象的概念”(exert negative impact),换言之,A句可以作为B句的例子,但B句不能作为A句的例子。
陈述事实的句子是不能作为主题句的,事实是不言自明的。不言自明,也就不需要后面的文字来“论证”了。主题句需要写“a sentence that you could give examples for”,而不能写一个 “example”。
来练习判断下面几组句子中哪一个可以做主题句呢?
A: “Second, the academic performance of some children becomes poor after they are responsible for caring for a pet.”
B:“Second, caring for a pet could disrupt a child’s regular studies.”
A: “First, people could learn how to communicate with eachother through participating in community activities”
B: “First, participating in community activities is apractical and effective approach to enhance their social skills.”
A: “First, letting children take care of animal is a good suggestion for the reason that kids like animals.”
B: “To start with, raising pets fill friendship vacuums and satisfy people’s need to nurture"
(答案:三组都是B句较好)
丨使用高级词汇
很多同学要问,如果主题句中不建议使用复杂句型,又不能出现多层结构,那如何显示自己的语言功力呢?要知道我们展示语言能力的地方并非只有复杂的句型,丰富和精准的词汇使用,同样可以展示英语的专业程度。比如
“First, go to museums can teach people different kinds of knowledge”
→ “First, visiting museums provide people with an opportunity to comprehend a vast amount of knowledge”
想想看,如果原本句子中只会写“good”之处,替换为“advantageous, beneficial, effective, efficacious, favorable,invaluable, rewarding, unparalleled, unprecedented”等等词汇,效果是不是更好呢?如果多次出现“important”的地方,改写为“central, critical ,crucial, decisive, essential, pivotal, primary,principal, vital,a key to, an indispensable part, play a pivotal role, attach great importance to”会不会增加可读性呢?
在平时的阅读中,注意积累一些“高级词汇”,准确掌握词义,并且刻意练习使用这些词汇,逐渐就会取得不错的写作成绩。
托福独立写作主题句注意问题
主题句作为对主体部分各自然段的分论点的概述,是全文内容的重要结点,而考官阅卷时由于时间精力有限,不可能细读全文,一般只会就若干要点做一概览,此时主题句的重要性就不言而喻了;对于e-rater(电子评分器)而言,一个带有表意清晰的主题句、结构规整的主体段同样有助于判分。
主题句写作中务必注意的第一个要点是不可写得过于笼统。一些考生在主题句中没有给出特定的理由,只是简单重复已有的观点。如下例:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.
主题句:First of all, learning from mistakes is helpful for children.
该句中的helpful显然过于笼统,无法成为一个“允许孩子犯错并从中学习”的具体理由。这句就比较合适了:First of all, allowing children to make mistakes and to learn from mistakes can help children to be independent. 换言之,主题句中理应出现如independent等较详细的词来点明本段的中心思想。
但事实上更常见的问题在于,许多考生在写主题句时会倒向另一个极端,即写得过于详细。如下例:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should spend most of time on study rather than housework.
主题句:Studying for too long will limit children’s imagination and thus stifle their creativity because children do not have time to think critically.
顾名思义,主题句要求的是用简明扼要的语言对本段观点进行概述,不应涉及过多细节。而该句中出现了because引导的原因状语从句,这类因果关系推导一般仅在下文的详细展开中出现。在教学实践中,笔者甚至见到过有的学员的一句主题句长度达到整段的一半以上,其中还有for example带起的例子。
这样的写法坏处显而易见:一是与考官阅卷时的一般期待相悖,妨碍了考官对文章分论点的快速准确把握,直接影响第一印象;二是涉及的过多细节事实上挤占了下文详细展开部分的笔墨,一开始就亮完了底牌,接下来的操作就更难了。所以如Overstudy is harmful to children’s creativity.这样的句子即可。
以上是主题句写作的一些要点。虽然我们有时在一些参考书中会看到某些写法比较“随性”的高分范文并没有清楚的主题句,但一般还是建议广大考生重视这个句子的写作,以保证成绩。
托福写作高分你得这么做!
写作高分必备:
1.教师指导写作高分技巧
2.不断实践高分技巧
3.教师指点修改
技巧
1.学会快速审题-根据题干,判断题型,决定解题方式.
2.学会快速展开文章结构-具体包括开头段,论点,让步段,结尾段的具体展开技巧和语言点.
3.学会多样化展开中间段部分-学会写例子,细节,重逻辑串联,忌细节堆砌.
修改
写作高分,除了以上所提到的掌握技巧意外,另外需要的是各位宝宝们的不断践行;对于基础一般的同学一开始的过程会被骂的狗血淋头,因为文章惨不忍睹;等作文能够稳定24分左右以后;你所需要做的事情就是将那些写的已经能看的作文,通过教师指导修改成一篇真正的高分文章,最后一步嘛;当然就是背背背啦!这可比漫无目的的去背诵各式各样的范文提升的要快的多;因为你所背诵的文章思路是你自己的,大部分的语言组织也是你自己的。
下面就向各位宝宝们展示下什么叫做一篇投入心血的精心批改(黄色为题目;黑色为未批改的作文;红色为批改和建议部分;蓝色为整体评语);
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Environmental issues can be solved or improved in the future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
文章优势:观点鲜明,结构明确,有例子和细节,语言表达尚可
需要改进的地方: 1.小语法错误 2.语言表达比较啰嗦 3.逻辑上很多地方不准确 4.致命伤:中间段2论点不切题, 段落内的论证逻辑不清晰。
这篇文章企图从两个角度论证环境会变好:
1.现在全球政府已经意识到,且开始行动- 第一段主体段逻辑没有问题
2.普通人的意识也正在逐渐养成。- 第二段主题段论点不扣题- 不应该表达:提出环境保护意识是有效的措施。而应该表达为: 跟过去比起来,现在的人们已经养成了保护环境的意识。 言下之意,就是现在和将来的人们会主动的去保护环境。
Some people consider that environmental problems can be more awful in the future for they believe that the more advent technology, the more pollution will come out(想表达科技越先进,污染问题越多 应该改为, the more advanced the technology is, the more environmental problems would pop up).(建议整个句子修改为:In today’s society, many people consider the environment problems could be more awful in the future for the advent of more technological products like the automobile would lead to more serious environmental contamination) However, I believe that environment will be better tomorrow because the every country of the world have been going to take action to face the circumstance issues and human have recognized the importance of protecting surroundings as time goes on(去掉the, 谓语动词三单,介词of改为the 时态改为完成式即可——- because every country in the world has prepared to take action to resolve environmental issue and the public has already recognized the importance of environmental conservation as time goes by ).
To begin with, environmental issues have become a major matter of concern for a number of countries. (添加过渡性短语- In this way,) This fact has led them to come up with many measures to solve the environmental problems(去掉后面的the 即 solve environmental problems). For instance, The United Nations Climate Change conference which about 192 countries attended was held in 2009, it aimed to discuss and put forward acts to cope with climatic change problems(第一个专有名词后面从句改为:The United Nations Climate Change conference attended by 192 countries was held in 2009 with the collective goal, that is, coping with the issue of climate change). There is no doubt that(少用套句,改为: Undoubtedly,) it has good impact on the tendency of changing climate on the Earth(这句话语言表达和上一句有重复且时态表达有问题 改为: the conference was a good start symbolizing the cooperation of the whole world to address environmental issue). And this is a know as‘ save the human last chance ’of the meeting(不要另起一句,直接and并列句 即改为: … and it was known as a meeting of last chance to salvage human beings). Furthermore, more and more solar cars are produced, which are made to save energy to protect environment(furthermore表示递进or并列此处逻辑上不是很强, 改为:as a consequence, the number of solar vehicles has experienced a dramatic increase. ). In a word, all of the actions are in order to prevent our Earth from destroying( in order to如此用绝对的中式英文,且总结的句子表达出来的意思并不能帮忙总结这个段落,应该与论点呼应,表达出的大致意义应该是:因此可以看出,全球已经意识到环境问题,且政府以及采取了很多行动, 与下一段形成呼应 下一段应该以“普通人也养成了保护环境得意时”。 所以应该改成: In a word, governments throughout the world have reached an agreement to protect the environment and taken immediate effective and potent measures to avert continual environmental deterioration).
In addition, raising environmental awareness can be an effective method to prevent and control pollution(论点扣题,应该改为: In addition, current individuals have already cultivated the awareness of environmental preservation and contributed a lot to environmental protection). In contemporary society (in the …), many more people are concern about the environmental situation (are concerned about/ current environmental situation) . Another example of Beijing, which used to be an auto-dependent city, Shrouded by smothering smog for years, residents in Beijing have totally realized the severe consequences brought by heavy smog and are fully motivated to reduce the number of private cars, burn clean fuels and lead a low-carbon life (句子主干结构应该是:北京被雾霾笼罩很多年,因此北京人知道了后果,开始被激励去减少适用私家车,燃烧干净能源,过低碳生活。 首先逻辑上:这句话的中文实际就不是很扣论点,应该改为,北京人意识到雾霾的后果,开始养成了后续的这些习惯。 其次语言上: 北京被雾霾笼罩缺乏谓语。 建议整句话改为;Since citizens in Beijing shrouded by smothering smog for years realize the severe consequences of environmental pollution, they have gradually developed the habit of reducing the frequency of driving private cars, burning clean fuels and leading a low-carbon life). Therefore, government are required to offer more courses, videos and reports useful for raising public awareness on environmental protection in order to create a pleasant ecological environment with cleaner air(这句话的逻辑不通, 作者观点环境未来会变好, 这段的论证思路是; 普通人意识到保护环境-例子;北京人受到雾霾影响,因此改变了习惯。 接下来不应该说因此, 政府需要去提供更多课。 作者应该这样去表达, 与此同时,现在的政府也会去做一些事情去加强人们的意识。所以这句应该改为: Meanwhile, the government also endeavors to strengthen people’s awareness of environmental protection by offering more public courses and related educational TV programs to create a favorable ecological environment). The example shows that our environmental circumstances will gradually get better(总结句依然不扣题,应该改为,因此可以看出,现在普通人的行为已经发生了改变,他们的环保意识有利于将来环境质量的提升。所以表达为: Apparently, the behavior of common people has been changed and their strong consciousness of environmental protection is beneficial to the improvement of future environmental quality).
All in all, our environment will get better tomorrow. I feel hopeful that many more countries is going to take steps to face the environmental problems and more and more people have consciousness on the environmental protection. (小语法错误,另外句子不够精炼,谓语动词三单,is-are。 整句建议改为; the efforts made by both the worldwide governments and ordinary individuals can explain why I am convinced that environment in the near future will be improved. )
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