学习啦【英语诗歌】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-30
My friend's preparations for a visit from her children included a trip to the bank. Waiting in line at the teller's window, she lamented to the middle-aged man behind' her,"My children are in their 20's，and I'm still giving them money. When does it end?"
"I'm not sure，"the man replied while glancing uncomfortably at a paper in his hand，"but I`m not the one to ask. I'm here to deposit a check my mother gave me."
A woman and her husband were out shopping when she realized that she needed to purchase some hair color for her graying hair.
"When are you going to stop buying that expensive stuff ,"complained the husband."and let your hair go gray like Barbara Bush?"
"The day that you're inaugurated,"the wife replied.
"It's annoying when my dentist starts up a conversation while he's working on my teeth，"one guy said to another.
"I know just what you mean，”replied his friend. "But my Uncle Edgar used to drive this dentist crazy.'
"He was a ventriloquist."
After two sleepless nights in a noisy campground，my wife and I were dreading another evening of radios and singslongs. Then a middle-aged couple pulled into the space beside us. While the wife prepared dinner，her husband mounted two huge loud speakers on the roof of their camper. We crouched by our fire,waiting for the first blast of whatever these people considered music. To our surprise,the speakers remained silent，and just as the partiers were getting into full swing，our neighbors retired for the evening. We decided to do the same，although there seemed little chance of sleeping.
As our tent was throbbing to a rock number，a low moan became audible，developing into an unmistakable wolf howl. It was soon joined by others in rising and falling harmonies. After reaching peak volume，the wild chorus faded quickly to utter silence. The campground was deathly quiet for what seemed like ages，and then a deep but pleasant voice said，"Relax，folks，it's just a recording. Good night."
It was the first day of school and a new student,the son of a Japanese businessman,entered the fourth grade.The teacher greeted the class and said，“Let’begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me liberty，or give me death'?"
She saw only a sea of blank faces except for that of Toshiba，who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry，1775,"said the boy.“Now，”said the teacher,“Who said 'Government of the people，by the people，for the people shall not perish from the earth'?”
Again, no response except from Toshiba:”Abraharn Lincoln，1863. "
The teacher snapped at the class，"You should be ashamed. Toshiba，who is new to our country，knows more about it than you do."
As she turned to write something on the blackboard，she heard a loud whisper:"Damned Japanese.”
"Who said that?"she demanded.
Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Jacocca，1982. "he said.