学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-14
原来如此 That's Why
Jimmy started painting when he was three years old, and when he was five, he was already verygood at it. He painted many beautiful and interesting pictures, and people paid a lot of moneyfor them. They said, "This boy's going to be famous when he's little older, and then we're goingto sell these pictures for a lot more money." Jimmy's pictures were different from other people'sbecause he never painted on all of the paper. He painted on half of it, and the other half wasalways empty. "That's very clever," everyone said, "Nobody else does that!" One day somebodybought one of Jimmy's pictures and then said to him, "Please tell me this, Jimmy. Why do youpaint on the bottom half of your pictures, but not on the top half?" "Because I'm small," Jimmysaid, "and my burshes don't reach very high."
吉米三岁开始画画，五岁时已经画得很好了。他画了很多美丽而有趣的画，人们出高价购买。他们说，“这个孩子长大一点肯定会出名，我们可以靠这些画大赚一笔。” 吉米的画与众不同。因为他从来不在整张纸上作画。他只画一半的纸，而另一半他总空着。 “构思多么巧妙啊!”大家都说，“从来没有人这么做过。” 有一天，一个人买了吉米的画，然后问他：“请告诉我，吉米，你为什么总是在纸的下半部分画画，而不是在纸的上半部分?” 吉米说，“因为我个头小，够不着上面。”
天气预报 Weather forecast
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the directorand said, "It will rain tomorrow." The next day it rained.
A week later, the Indian went up to the director again and said, "There will be a stormtomorrow." The next day there was a storm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predictthe weather.
However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot an important scene tomorrow," said thedirector. "And I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know," he said. "My radio is broken."
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in oneof my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles.
"When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But thegraduate students just write it down."
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "You know, since summerstarted I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away. "
Another said, "Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been hadthe place fumigated, and they still won’t go away. "
The third said,"I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen oneback since!"
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast.Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meatfrom my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" Thelawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roastfrom me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Severaldays later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for aconsultation.