学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-14
An antiques collector was passing a small shop when he noticed a cat on the sidewalk out front, licking milk from a saucer. The man immediately realized the saucer was very old and valuable. He stepped into the shop with an uninterested look and asked to buy the cat. "I'm sorry, " the shop owner said, "but the cat is not for sale: "
"Please, " the collector urged, "I need a cat around my house to catch mice. I'll give you 20 dollars. "
"The cat is yours," the owner said taking the money.
"Listen," the collector added, "I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer as well. The cat seems to like it and I'd hate to have him give it up. "
"Sorry," the shop owner answered, "but that saucer brings me luck. Why, just this week I've sold 68 cats!"
A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walkingstraight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him getaway .So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and gotupset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."
"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.
After I took office as mayor of a small Kentucky city, an unfortunate incident precipitatedsome hateful phone calls to my home. One night while I was conducting a city-council meeting,my wife answered the phone.
"Is this the home of Bert May, the mayor?" a woman's voice asked.
When my wife explained that I was at a meeting and would return her call if she left a nameand number, the caller said. "That's confidential. This is his girlfriend. "
My wife, knowing this was all a ruse, calmly responded, "Lady, if you don't leave your nameand number, he won't know which one to call back
A salesman was chatting with the owner of a motel."Business is terrible," said the motel owner.'Really bad."
"But every time I drive by here you have the 'no vacancy' sign on. " said the salesman.
"That's true," replied the motel owner. "But I used to turn away 30 to 35 people a night.Now, I only turn away ten to 15."