学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-29
Kiss Your Troubles Goodbye!向你的烦恼说再见!
A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
Said the Jew to St.Peter, "Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians have despised and reviled me."
"That's a great sorrow to us, "said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here. Here, all are truly equal. Just spell God and you may enter."
The Jew duly spelled out G-O-D and was waved through the gates.
Next,the Indian came forward and said, "St. Peter, all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination, and could only live in a reservation. Will I truly be free here?"
"My son, your troubles are over.J ust spell the work God and you will be free as a bird."
The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.
Next,the black man strode forward. "St. Peter, "he said, "all my life people looked down on me and treated me unfairly. That won't happen here,will it?"
"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here. Just spell ”onomatopoeia“ and the Kingdom of Heaven is yours!"
the black couple already had eight children,and lula may was pregnant with her ninth. finally she convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.
on the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husband putting on a tuxedo and getting into a limousine for the short ride to the hospital.
"say, honey, what's all this about?"asked lula may.
"baby, if you gonna be impo'tant, you gotta look impotant.
Lesson in Finance财政学的一课
Smith was the manager of a construction company and was taking bids on a new project. The first bidder was a Polish company,and their representative offered to do the job for $400,000.
"That seems reasonable," said Smith." Can you give me a breakdown on that?"
"Sure," said the Pole," $200,000 for labor and $200,000 for materials."
Next to make a bid was the Standard American Construction Company, which bid $800,000.
"Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith." What's the breakdown?
"$400,000 on materials, $400,000 on labor."
"I'll get back to you."
Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smith’s office.
"$1,200,000 is our bid," said the agent." $1,200.000! That'sway out of line," exclaimed Smith." Can you give me a breakdown on that?"
"No problem," replied the rep." $400,000 for me, $400,000 for you and $400,000 for the Polacks.