英语笑话大全爆笑
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松。与此同时,笑话也是人们反对极权和专制制度的有力武器。小编精心收集了爆笑英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
爆笑英语笑话篇1
Fine for Parking
停车罚款
"Tell me again,"asked the judge, "Why you parked there?"
“告诉我，”法官问道，“你为什么把车停在那儿?”
The driver rose and answered respectfully,
司机站起身，恭恭敬敬地回答，
"Because, Your Honor, it said‘Fine for Parking'."
“因为尊敬的阁下，牌子上写着‘可以停车’。”
爆笑英语笑话篇2
A Satisfied Gustomer
一位心满意足的客户
A rough looking fellow strolled into the bank and walked up to the teller.
有一位相貌粗鲁的家伙走进银行对柜台职员说:
"I wanna open a god-damned checking account. "
“我想开个你他妈的活期存款账户。”
"CertainLy, sir," replied the young lady, “but there's no need to use that kind of language."
“当然可以啦，先生，”年轻的小姐回答说，“但没有必要使用那种字眼。”
"Hey, get your ass in gear, will ya? I'm in a hurry.
“嘿，你他妈的能不能快一点吗?我在赶时间呢!”
"Sir, I’m not used to being spoken to in that way. "
“先生，我不习惯别人那样子对我说话。”
"I wanna open a fucking checking account, and I want to do it now, understand?"
“我要开一个××的活期存款账户，而且要现在就办，懂了吗?”
"Sir, I'm going to get the manager," said the indignant young lady.
“先生，我去找经理来。”气愤的年轻小姐说着。
Soon she returned with the manager, a dignified white haired gentleman who asked, "Whatseems to be the trouble, sir?"
不久她带了经理回来，那位满头白发、看起来很庄严的老先生问道：“先生，到底有什么问题吗?
“I just won ,000,000 in the lottery, and I want to open a goddamn checking account. "
“我刚中彩券得了一千万美元，我想开个你他妈的活期存款账户。”
"I see," said the manager warmly. "And this bitch is giving you trouble?"
“我知道了，”经理说道，“而这个臭婊子在给您添麻烦，是吧?”
爆笑英语笑话篇3
Where Do You keep Yours?
你的东西放到哪儿去了?
The famous but rather aged, doctor was making his rounds, followed by a young intern.
一位上了年纪的著名医生正在各病房做例行巡视，一位年轻的实习医生跟着他。
Suddenly the intern noticed something peculiar.
突然那名实习医生注意到一件怪事。
"Say, doctor, are you aware that you have a suppository behind your ear?"
“医师先生，您有没发现您耳朵放了一支栓剂呢?"
"Oh, shit!" exclaimed the eminent practitioner.
“喔!真是糟糕!”那位名医说道。
"Do you know what this means?"
“你知道那表示什么吗?”
"What?"
“什么呢?”
"Some asshole has got my pen!"
“我把我的钢笔塞到某一位病人的屁股里面去了!”
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