生活幽默英语故事三则

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘记了放松自己。下面学习啦小编为大家带来生活幽默英语故事三则，希望大家喜欢!

　　生活幽默英语故事：窈窕塑身

　　A healthy mind is in a healthy body.

　　健全的精神寓于健康的体魄。

　　A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital. While on the op-erating table, she had a near-death experience.She saw God.

　　一个叫雪莉的妇女来自贝弗利山。一天，她心脏病发作，被送进了塞达斯辛耐医院。在手术台上，她经历了生死的瞬间。她见到了上帝。

　　A:Is this it?

　　我就这样完了吗?

　　B:No,you have another 30 to 40 years to live.

　　不，你还能活三四十年。

　　( Upon her recovery ,she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants,a face Iift, liposuction and breast augmentation.She even had someone dye. her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it. She walked out of Ce-dars Sinai lobby after the alst operation and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

　　心脏病好了之后，她决定待在医院里，作胶原蛋白注射、面颊移植、脸部隆型、吸脂术以及隆胸等一系列美容整容手术。她还请人烫染了头发。她想既然自己还有三四十年的活头，就应该好好活出个滋味儿来。她做完最后一个手术后，刚走出塞达斯辛耐医院，就被一辆迎头疾驰而来的救护车撞死了。)

　　A:I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?

　　我原以为你说过我还能活三四十年?

　　B:Shirley!I didn't recognize you!

　　雪莉!我没认出是你!

　　生活幽默英语故事：泡泡温泉

　　A:Tom,look at your shoes.How dirty they are! You must clear hem.

　　汤姆，看看你的鞋子，多脏呀，你必须洗一洗了。

　　B:Oh.Mother,but I cleaned them only yesterday.

　　噢，妈妈，可我昨天才洗过的。

　　A:But they are dirty now.You must clean them again.

　　可现在它们又脏了，你再洗一次吧。

　　B:I don't want to clean them today. Even if I clean them today,they will be dirty again tomorrow.

　　我今天不想洗，我即使今天把鞋洗了，明天还会脏的。

　　A:OK,don't clean them then.

　　好吧，那就别洗了。

　　(ln the evening Tom came back from school.he was very hungry.

　　晚上汤姆放学回到家，他非常饿。)

　　B:Mother,give me something to eat, please.

　　妈妈，请给我拿些吃的吧?

　　A:You had your breakfast in the morning, Tom, and you had your lunch at school.

　　汤姆，你早晨吃了早饭，在学校吃了午饭。

　　B:But I am hungry now.

　　可我现在又饿了。

　　A:Oh,really? But even if Igive you something to eat today, you will be hungry again tomorrow.

　　噢，真的吗?可是即使今天我给你吃的明天你还会饿呀。

　　生活幽默英语故事：喂养宠物

　　Birds in their little nests agree.

　　鸟在巢中不相争。

　　A small child was giving a bath to a tiny and dirty kitten in the gar-den. while an ojd lady passing by.

　　一个小男孩在花园里给一只身上很脏的小花猫洗澡，正在这时，一个上了年纪的女士从旁边经过。

　　A:Sonny.you shouldn't bathe a kitty in cold waLer.He will get sick and die.

　　小家伙，你不应该在凉水中给小猫洗澡，他会生病,甚至会死。

　　(The child go on with his job.barely liatening to her.Two houra Wer,the lacjy was retumiWg when ahe saw the boy sittinS on the ground and cring.with the dead kitten lying beaide him.

　　可是，小男孩继续给小猫洗澡，几乎对那位女士置之不理。两小时以后，那位女士返回时看见那个小男孩坐在地上哭泣，小猫躺在他的身旁，死了。)

　　B:Didn't I tell you .sonny.that the kitty would die if you wa.shed him in the cold water?

　　小家伙，我不是告诉休了吗?如果在凉水中给小猫洗澡，他会死的。

　　A:But Auntie. he didn't die because I waahed him; he died when I was wrinpng him dry.

　　可是，阿姨，他不是因为我给它洗澡死的，当我把他拧于时，他就死了。