英语幽默短笑话

　　我很高兴

　　A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. Now, children, said she, has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?

　　Please, teacher, said a small boy, I've made someone glad yesterday.

　　Well done. Who was that?

　　My granny.

　　Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.

　　Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I'm going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, I'm glad’!

　　一个主日学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。现在，孩子们，她说：你们当中有谁让别人高兴过?

　　我，老师，一个小男孩说：昨天我就使别人高兴过。

　　做得好，是谁呢?

　　我奶奶。

　　好孩子，现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。

　　是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说：‘啊，我很高兴!’

　　Pirate's Treasure 海盗的财富

　　"Ten steps from the porch(门廊) and twenty steps from the rose bushes," growled Bluebeard in Jimmy's dream one night. "There be treasure there! Aawrgh."

　　So the next day Jimmy began to dig. He dug until the hole was deep and the dirt pile was high.

　　He kept digging. The hole got deeper and the dirt pile got higher.

　　He dug until the hole was deepest and the dirt pile was at its highest. He sighed. "I'm too tired. I can't dig anymore." Then he spied something... but it was only one of Woofy's bones. Instead of treasure, all Jimmy had was a dog bone, a hole, and a big pile of dirt to fill it in with. He thought "That pirate lied to me!"

　　But when Jimmy's mother saw what he had done, she clasped(紧抱，扣紧) her hands and smiled a smile from here to Sunday. "Oh, thank you, Jimmy. I always wanted a rhododendron(杜鹃) bush planted just there. Here's .00 for digging that hole."

　　A dollar per point一分钱一块钱

　　A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.

　　Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a 0 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."

　　The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and change.

　　一天，教授正在给学生们监考。他发下试卷，然后回到讲台前等待。

　　考试结束了，学生们纷纷交回试卷。教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票，还有一张纸条写着：“一分一块钱。”

　　第二堂课，教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。其中一个学生不但得到了试卷还得到64块钱的找零。