学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-29
The Bait 把诱饵扔回海里
A man and his wife were on a holiday.They went for a sail.
Unfortunately the wife fell overboard and was drowned. The man asked the pier-master to let him know if her body was found.
Two weeks later he received a wire saying: "Body recovered yesterday covered with crabs. Send instructions." The man sent a wire back saying, "
Sell crabs, send the money; reset bait."
Skinny Dipping 裸泳
One day Jimmy went down to the pond for a dip, but before he could dive in he spied his teacher, Mrs. Smith, emerging from nude bathing.
When Mrs. Smith saw Jimmy, she grabbed the nearest object - which happened to be an old wooden box - and held it in front of her.
"Young man, I know what you're thinking," she said.
"And I know what you're thinking," replied Jimmy. "You're thinking that box has a bottom on it!"
Chaude and Cold 热与冷
A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C."
"Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
Chicken soup 鸡汤
Joe was in the hospital and it was time for lunch. He looks at his lunch and says, "I don't like chicken soup, bring something else."
The hospital worker said, "It's good for you, the doctor said you should have it."
Regardless, the patient refused to eat it. That night, a patient in the room with Joe had a bad stomach pain so the nurses came in to give him an enema.
By mistake, they gave the enema to Joe. The following week, when he was leaving the hospital, a new patient asked him how he liked the hospital.
He told him, "Well, the hospital itself is pretty good, but they're very strict about their food. when they bring up chicken soup you better eat it, or else they'll come back in the middle of the night and shove it up your behind!"