学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-30
A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”
The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"
"Yes，do you need a partner ?"
My friend Gilbert and some other truck drivers were to deliver loads of gravel out in the country. The directions they were given said to go down a certain road and, when they came to a cow tied to a fence post, to turn right.
While Gilbert was driving along slowly，he came upon a farmer leading a cow down the road. Assuming this was his landmark, he stopped and asked the man where his cow had been tied. After Gilbert explained why he wanted to know， the farmer took the cow back and tied it to the post. All the loads got delivered.
I teach middle-school choir and occasionally have my own children in class. One day my son asked if he could have a pencil. As a teacher,I normally do not lend items to unprepared students;but as a mother，I help my children whenever I can. I asked my son whether he was speaking to his teacher or his mother. He replied，“It degends on who has the pencil."
As a doctor is examining a patient, his nurse bursts in and says”Excuse me，but that man you just treated walked out of the door and collapsed on the front step. What should I do?"
"Turn him around，"the doctor answered，"So it looks like he was walking in.”
Two sardines were swimming in New York harbor when one suggested they go up to the Bronx for the weekend.”I'd rather not，"the other objected. "It's such a long swim."
"How about taking the subway?'his companion asked.
"No way!"replied the second sardine."And be packed in there like people?"