学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-30 19:25:03
My husband bought me an automatic dishwasher for my birthday. In filling out the guarantee，he came across the question，“What year and model dishwasher did you're place?"He wrote:"Wife—Age 24".
A hotel manager in a small town reports that a guest woke up everyone in the hotel screaming，"It's in the phone book! It's in the the phone book!"
The manager got the house detective and they let themselves into the man's room，where they found him in the midst of a nightmare. "I was having a horrible dream，”the man explained when awakened. "I dreamed the income-tax people wanted to send me a big refund, but they'd lost my address!"
An airline ticket agent was being given a particularly rough time by a woman who complained about the departure times. She said，“Young man，I could stick a feather in my ear and get there faster. "
"Madam,"replied the agent calmly,"the runways are clear."
An acquaintance of mine stopped at a local tavern after work and spent the evening there. When’ he arrived home around ten o'clock, his wife was sitting at the kitchen table，waiting. Instead of questioning or scolding him，however , she simply asked pleasantly if he wanted dinner. He was not interested in eating，and went off to bed.
At 3:30 a. m.，the alarm went off. He scrambled out of bed and turned on the light. When he saw the time, he roared at his wife，demanding an explanation.
"Well,"she replied placidly, "if it took you four-hours to get home from work，I figured it would take you four hours to get back to work，and I didn't want you to be late. "
The children begged for a hamster, and after the usual fervent vows that they alone would care for it，they got one. They named it Danny. Two months later, when found herself responsible for cleaning and feediag the creature,she located a prospective new home for it. The children took the news of them remarked,"He's been around here a long time_we'll miss him."
"Yes,"Mom replied."But he's too much work for one person,and since I'm that one person,I say he goes."
Another child offered,"Well,maybe if he wouldn't eat so much and wouldn't be so messy,we could keep him."
But Mom was firm."It's time to take Danny to his new home now,"she insisted."Go and get his cage."
With one voice and in tearful outrage the children shouted,"Danny? We thought you said Daddy!"