最搞笑最爆笑的英文笑话大全
最搞笑最爆笑的英文笑话大全
笑话是日常生活中人们消遣娱乐的一种常见语言现象,其目的在于在会话过程中传递和激发幽默感。本文是最搞笑最爆笑的英文笑话，希望对大家有帮助!
最搞笑最爆笑的英文笑话：你纳税了吗?
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditorwho had come to reviewhis records.
一个神色紧张的纳税人正闷闷不乐地和前来查帐的国税局的税务审计员交谈。
At one point the auditor exclaimed,"Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilegeto be allowed tolive and work in the USA.
审计员一度大声地说，“Carelton先生，我们认为能在美国生活和工作是莫大的荣幸，
As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes,and we expect you to eagerly pay them with asmile"
而作为一个美国公民，您也有纳税的义务。我们希望您能无比乐意地带着微笑来纳税。”
"Thank goodness"returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face,"I thought you were goingto want me to pay with cash."
“谢天谢地”，Carelton先生咧着嘴大笑地回答，“我还以为你们是要我带着钱来交税呢!”
最搞笑最爆笑的英文笑话：交通事故
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ...hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold.
有个人开车行驶在上班的路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了。
Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him.
路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。
He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics.
刚一醒过来，他就拼命的挣扎着，最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。
Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so.
过了一会儿，他平静了，别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎，
He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing.
他说：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，
I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'
当我醒过来，我发现我躺在了路边，前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌’，但是有个人挡住了那个s。”
最搞笑最爆笑的英文笑话：机长的录音
This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew ...
这是你们机长的声音。
I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London.
请允许我代表全体工作人员，欢迎你们乘坐英国航空公司602号航班从纽约飞往伦敦。
We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.
我们此时在大西洋上空35,000英尺的高度。
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. "
如果你从飞机的右边向窗外看去，你将会发现右侧的两个引擎都已经起火。
If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off.
如果你从左边往外看，你就会看到那边的机翼已经脱落了。
"If you look down towards the Atlantic Ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it to waving at you.”
如果你俯视下面的大西洋，那么你会看到一艘黄色的救生筏，上面有三个人正在朝你挥手。
That's me, the copilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recording.
那是我、副驾驶员还有我们的一名女乘务员。这是一段录音。
最搞笑最爆笑的英文笑话：相亲
A guy gets set up on a blind dateand he takes her out for dinner to a very expensive restaurantto make a good impression.
一个小伙子被安排去相亲，为了能给女孩留一个好印象，他带着她去了家收费昂贵的餐厅。
The waiter approaches the table and asks to take their order.
服务生过来问他们要点些什么菜。
The lady begins ordering practically everything on the menu,shrimp cocktail, pate, Caesar Salad, lobster, crepes Suzette,with no regard to the price.
女孩开始点菜了，她几乎点了菜单上所有的东西，鸡尾虾、派、凯撒沙拉、龙虾、柳橙可丽饼，完全不考虑价格。
The guy is getting very upset,as he never thought she would order so much.
小伙子变得很不安，他真没想到女孩竟然会点这么多菜。
She then stops, and looks across at him, and asks,"What do you suggest I wash it down with?"
这时她停下了，看着坐在对面的他，问，“你认为咱们该喝什么酒水配这些菜呢?”
"Well my dear, I can think of nothing so fitting as the Mississippi River"
“哦，亲爱的，我觉得没有什么东西比密西西比河更合适了。”
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