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令人喷饭的经典英语笑话

学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑:韦彦 发布时间:2016-09-29

  笑话 作为一种特殊的语体有其自身的特点。对于笑话为什么引人发笑,可以从心理学的角度去分析,也可以从修辞学、逻辑学的角度去认识。下面是学习啦小编带来的令人喷饭的经典英语笑话,欢迎阅读!

  令人喷饭的经典英语笑话篇一

  Trouble with Propositions 介词问题

  A new student was just finding his way around Harvard University.

  一位哈佛大学新生正在熟悉校园环境。

  “Excuse me,” he asked an upperclassman, “can you tell me where the library’ s at?”

  “对不起,”他问一位高年级学长“,您能告诉我图书馆在哪里吗?”

  “What appalling diction,” sneered the older student. “I can’t imagine how you could have been admitted to Harvard. Don’t you know better than to end a sentence with a preposition.”

  “好可怕的用字喔!”那名学长嘲弄他道“。不知道你老弟是怎么获准进入哈佛的。难道你不知道介词不要放在一个句子后面吗?”

  “O. K. Can you tell me where the library’s at, asshole?”

  “好吧!你能告诉我图书馆在哪里吗,驴蛋?”

  令人喷饭的经典英语笑话篇二

  an uncommon cold 一次特别的伤风感冒

  on a rainy, miserable day, the funeral procession was climbing the steep hill to the cemetery, when suddenly the rear door of the hearse broke open and the coffin slid out.

  一个阴雨、悲惨的日子,有列送葬队伍正沿着陡峭的山路向墓地前进,这时突然间灵车的后门破开,棺材滑出车外。

  to the horror of the mourners, the casket hurtled down the hill, scattering motorists and pedestrians. at tremendous speed it leaped onto the sidewalk and barreled into a drugstore. it crashed into the counter and the lid flew open.

  令哀悼者大感惊恐的是,棺材滑下山坡,冲散了汽车和行人,接着它以高速冲上人行道并滚进一家药房,最后棺材撞到了柜台里面,盖子则崩开了。

  “for heaven’s sake,” said the corpse to the astonished pharmacist, “give me something to stop this coffin.”

  “看在老天的分上,”棺木中的尸体向惊魂未定的药剂师说道:“给我一点东西把棺材停止下来。”

  令人喷饭的经典英语笑话篇三

  I Didn’t Take That In 我没有把药吃下去

  A fellow who was rather slow on the uptake had been suffering from constipation, so the doctor provided him with some suppositories.

  有位理解能力相当迟缓的老兄一直为便秘所苦,因此医生给他一些利肠的栓剂。

  A week later, the patient came back to tell the doctor that his condition had not improved.

  一星期后病人回来告诉医生,他的状况尚未改进。

  “I’m amazed,” said the doctor. “Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed for you?”

  “我觉得好奇怪,”医生说。“你有没有采用我开给你的药方呢?”

  “What do you think I ‘ve been doing, shoving it up my ass?”

  “你以为我做什么呢?难道要我把它们都塞进屁股里吗?”

  令人喷饭的经典英语笑话篇四

  You Said What? 你说什么?

  Moe, Larry and Curly had been stranded on a desert island. They were walking along disconsolately when Moe happened to kick bottle lying in the sand. The bottle broke and a genie suddenly emerged before them.

  莫伊、赖利和卷毛因船触礁搁浅而被困在一个无人荒岛上,他们寂寞无助地沿岸边走着,这时莫伊踢到沙滩上一只瓶子,那只瓶子破了后,突然出现一个精灵。

  “Thank you, oh Masters, for releasing me from my captivity. For your kindness,please allow me to grant you each a wish.”

  “谢谢你们从囚禁我的瓶子中把我放出来,我的主人。为了报答你们的恩惠,请让我为每位实现一个愿望。”

  “Well, it’s not too difficult to figure out what I want,” said Moe. “I wish I were back home.”

  “哦,我的愿望很容易想出来,”莫伊说“。我希望我能回到家里。”

  No sooner had he said the words than he was back in dear old Brooklyn.

  话一说完,莫伊就已在他可爱的布鲁克林老家中。

  “I want to be back home, too,” said Larry, and he, too, was instantly transported.

  “我也想回家,”赖利说,他马上也就被送走了

  “Gee, it’s lonesome here without Moe and Larry,” said Curly. “I wish they were here to keep me company.”

  “唉,没有莫伊和赖利,一个人在这里真无聊,”卷毛说“。我希望他们能回到这里陪伴我。”

  令人喷饭的经典英语笑话篇五

  Oh, Good Job 喔,你做得真好!

  Moe, Larry, and Curly were wandering in the Arabian desert when they were captured by a band of ferocious Bedouin. “By the mode of the desert you miserable infidels must be destroyed,” declared their savage leader. “Set up the guillotine!”

  莫伊·赖利和卷毛三个傻瓜走在阿拉伯沙漠中时,一群残暴的贝都因人把他们抓了起来。“依据我们沙漠的规定,你们这些可怜的异教徒必须被处死,”野蛮的首领说道“。把断头台架设好。”

  Moe was the first to be ordered to the death instrument. The blade descended but, amazingly, stopped just short of his neck.

  莫伊首先被命令上断头台,但令人惊讶的是,刀具落下时在接近脖子地方就停止不动了。

  Next, Larry placed his head under the huge, razor-sharp blade. But once again it stopped short of his neck.

  接着赖利把头放在像剃刀刀片一样锐利的大刀之下,但又一次刀子在接近他的颈部地方停了下来。

  “By Allah, another miracle!” affirmed the sheik once more. “Release him!”

  “奉阿拉真主之命,又是另一个奇迹!”酋长又一次宣布“。放了他!”

  Finally, Curly was led to the ominous device. Looking closely he noticed a splinter of wood blocking the path of the blade.

  最后卷毛被带到那不吉利的断头台上,仔细察看后,他发现一块小木片挡住了刀锋的去路。

  “Well, no wonder it’s not working,” he announced. “Here’s your problem right here...”

  “难怪它不发生作用,”他宣布道。“你们的问题就在这里……。

  
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