好笑的英语笑话
笑话是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。小编精心收集了好笑的英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
好笑的英语笑话：Good Thing He Has You
While I was talking to a parent of one of my third-grade students, another teacher walked by. The mother, remarking how beautiful the woman was, said, "If my son had her for a teacher, he wouldn't be able to concentrate. " Then she paused and added, "Good thing he has you. "
有你教他真好
在我和一位三年级学生的母亲交谈时，另一位老师从旁边走过。那位母亲评论说那女教师真美，她说：“如果由她教我儿子的话，他一定不能认真听课的。”她停顿了一下，又加了一句：“有你教他真好。”
好笑的英语笑话：The Judges Pistol
One day Mel Martin stopped by the chambers of a judge with whom he had lunch appointment. As his friend changed from robe jacket, Martin noticed a shiny black pistol bolstered to the judge's shoulder.
The judge was not a firearms enthusiast, so Martin asked him why he was carrying it. His friend said that because of recent threats he had borrowed the pistol from the repository of confiscated weapons. Holding it up, the judge said, "I chose this one because it's so mean-looking, yet it hardly weighs a thing. I hope I don't need it, because I don't even know how to load it."
"It's not hard," Martin said, examining it closely. "We can fill it at the water fountain on the way out."
法官的手枪
一天，麦尔·马丁来到一个法官办公室。他跟法官约好了一起吃午餐。当法官换掉长袍时，马丁发现法官肩上绑着一支闪光发亮的手枪。
法官并不是个武器狂热者，因此马丁问他为什么带上它。他的这位朋友回答说因为近来不断有恐吓发生，所以他从充公武器仓库那里借来一把手枪。法官把枪拿在手里，说：“我选了这把枪是因为它看起来很吓人，却一点也不重。我希望我并不需要它，因为我还不知道怎么装子弹呢。”
“这并不难，”马丁说，一边仔细检查那支枪，“我们可以在出口的自来水管处装满它。”
好笑的英语笑话：A Call from a Frog
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you . "
The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class.
青蛙的电话
青蛙拨打通灵热线。电话中说：“你将遇到一位美丽的年轻女子，她要了解你的一切。”
青蛙说：“这太棒了!我会在舞会上遇见她，还是----?”
“不，”通灵者说，“是在下个学期她的生物课上。”
好笑的英语笑话：The Long and Short of It
Although I had never met him, I knew that my grandfather had been five feet, six inches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches. As a teen-ager leafing through old photographs with Grandma, I finally realized how unusual they must have looked together .
"Grandma, " I asked, "how could you have fallen in love with a man five inches shorter than you?"
She turned to me. "Honey," she said, "we fell in love sitting down, and when I stood up, it was too late."
来龙去脉
尽管我从未见过我祖父，但我知道他身高五英尺六，而我高贵的祖母身高五英尺十一。十几岁的时候，我和祖母一起一页一页地翻着老照片，我终于认识到他们在一起是多么不同寻常。
“奶奶，”我问道，“你怎么会爱上一个比你矮五英寸的人呢?”
她转过脸来看着我。“宝贝，”她说，“我们是坐着相爱的。当我站起来的时候，已经太晚了。”
好笑的英语笑话：The Shepherd and the Bureaucrat
A bureaucrat was hiking when he came upon a shepherd tending a large flock. The bureaucrat took a fancy to the sheep and asked the shepherd, "If I can guess how many there are, may I have one?" The shepherd thought it unlikely the man would guess the exact number, so he agreed.
The bureaucrat guessed, "You have 287 sheep." The shepherd was astonished, since this was exactly right.
"Can I pick out my sheep now?" asked the bureaucrat. The shepherd grudgingly gave his permission. Selecting one, the bureaucrat slung it over his shoulders to carry home.
The shepherd got an idea." If I guess your occupation'," he said, "may I have my sheep back?" The bureaucrat was surprised, but figured there was little chance of the shepherd guessing correctly, so he went along. "You're a bureaucrat, "announced the shepherd. Amazed, the bureaucrat asked.
"How did you know?"
The shepherd replied, "Put the dog down and we'll talk about it.
牧羊人与官僚
一位官僚在徒步旅行，这时他看到一个牧羊人在看护一大群羊。这个官僚特别喜欢羊，就问牧羊人：“如果我能猜出有多少只，我能领走一只羊吗?”牧羊人想他不可能猜中准确的数目，就同意了。
官僚猜道：“你有二百八十七只羊。”牧羊人惊呆了，因为这确是准确的数目。
“我可以挑一只羊了吧?”官僚问道。牧羊人勉强地答应了。官僚挑了一只羊，把它甩在肩上就往家里扛。
牧羊人来了主意。“如果我猜中你的身份，”他说，“我可以收回我的羊吗?”官僚甚感惊奇，但考虑到牧羊人猜中的机会很小，就同意了。“你是个官员，”牧羊人猜道。
官僚一愣，问道：“你怎么知道的?”
牧羊人回答：“先把我的狗放下，然后我们再说话。”
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