学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-29
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ...
hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold.
Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him.
He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics.
Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so.
He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing.
I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditorwho had come to review his records.
At one point the auditor exclaimed,"Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilegeto be allowed to live and work in the USA.
As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes,and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile"
"Thank goodness"returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face,"I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash."
A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed.
The judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.
The carpenter replied "twenty seven feet, six-and-one-half- inches".
"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the judge.
"Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.
Late one night a police officer was patrolling a rowdy bar to anticipate possible DUI violations.
At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his.
Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away.
The police officer was waiting for him and turned on his light and pulled the driver over, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test.
The test results showed a reading of 0.00.
The puzzled officer demanded to know how could that be.
The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"