学习啦【英语笑话】 编辑：韦彦 发布时间：2016-09-18
儿子的大脑袋 Big Head
"All the kids make fun of me," the boy cried to his mother, "They say I have a big head."
"Don't listen to them," his mother comforted him, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop cryingand go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes."
"Where's the shopping bag?"
"I haven't got one, use your hat."
良好的心愿 Good wishes
One day a boy came to his teacher and said: Teacher, pa wants to know if you like roast pig.Icertainly do, said the teacher, and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me.Dayspassed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig.
Finally the teacher said to the boy: I thought your father was going to send me over someroast pig.Yes, said the boy, he did intend to, but the pig got well.
睡觉是浪费还是节约 Waste or Save
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don't you know you are wastingtime?
Jack: Yes, Dad. But I've saved you a meal, haven' I?
水分子式的新奇解释 The formula for water
Teacher: What the chemical formula for water is the?
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Blonde: Yesterday you said its H to O!
花瓶：昨天你不是说H to O吗?
我饭后从不工作 I Never Work after Supper
A penny-pinching farmer didn’t want his hired hand to stop working. One morning, he told thefarmhand, “It’s such a nuisance to come in from the field, wash up for lunch and take time toeat. Why don’t we save time and eat lunch now?”
The hired man agreed. The farm’s wife brought in some cold meat and fried potatoes, and thetwo men ate again.
When they had finished, the cheap farmer said, “While we’re still at the table, let’s have suppertoo.”They were now served steak, boiled potatoes and mixed vegetables, and they ate oncemore.
“Now that the meals are out of the way, ” the farmer announced, “we can go out and work allday without interruption. ”
“Oh, no,” the farmhand answered. “I never work after supper.”
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains!
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts!
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE.